Pictureland

If there was ever a time that theatrical movie trailers were made in such a way as to be considered an art of their own, that era seems to have gone the way of the handwritten letter.   Or the letter, for that matter.   If you've seen the trailer for The Guard , you've heard its main character, Sergeant Gerry Boyle (Brendan Gleeson) spout the likes of, "I thought only black lads were drug dealers...and Mexicans."  That decided bit of political incorrectness spoken to visiting FBI agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle), who happens to be a black man.  Later, while the two are discussing Everett's privileged upbringing back in the states, "You know, summer in the Hamptons, skiing in Aspen," Gerry lobs back,  "I thought black people couldn't ski...or is that swimming?"  The unconventional sergeant had earlier explained away his behavior at the briefing where he first met Everett,  "I'm Irish sir, racism is part of my culture."  Of...

He must be stopped.  I realize that he's old, diminutive and myopic (boy, is he myopic), but don't be fooled. He keeps rampaging through Western Civilization. For decades, he roamed the streets of New York (mainly Manhattan, mind you). It was believed that he couldn't survive out of his native habitat, but then he somehow crossed the Atlantic and was let loose on London and English culture. The results, for the most part, were not pretty. He crashed briefly through the streets of Barcelona. And now, I am sorry to report, he has landed in Paris. And it gets worse. His damage has taken on a new dimension; it's no longer just spatial, it's temporal. Woody Allen is delving into the past to divest long-dead artists - fortunately, he has little concern for anyone else - of their ability to sound even remotely human. If this is allowed to continue, before you know it the Renaissance will be here and everyone will sound completely ridiculous. So yes, Wood A...